Mariposa's Connections: Against or For

I have this huge problem: when I've started dating someone, and I see a conflict come up in our relationship, I don't like to talk about it with that other person. One reason is because I'm afraid of losing that person, and the other reason is that the word "conflict" is just a very negative word - it's something that we kind of naturally want to avoid.

However, not talking about conflicts in relationships can sometimes make things worse. In fact, it can have the opposite effect we want it to. For example, if we don't bring up conflicts with the person we're dating, then the problems will become bottled up until they explode - instead of keeping that person, we loose them.

And "conflict" is only a negative word because we think it is. In reality, it's our response to conflict that's the problem. If we work together with that person we're dating, and resolve conflicts, that can make a relationship that much stronger. Working through conflicts means that we care enough about that other person to put in effort - and work - to stay with them.